Solo Singing and Autoethography

By Jonathan Christian

Singing in front of a camera or in front of an audience is something that I thought I would never do in my whole life, and it is even one of my biggest fears. When I heard that in one of our projects for the class that we have to sing in front of a camera I was stressed. I didn’t know how to react, and I froze for a second. The whole process of project 2 was so surreal to me, from choosing the song to actually singing in front of a camera the whole process was just scary and nerve racking for me. I just prayed that the activities that we do in class will help me to gain the confidence that I needed at the end of the day to sing in front of a camera.

Choosing a song to perform in front of the whole class has been a tough decision for me because I have never done something close to this and I have to choose the appropriate song to perform for everyone. The first song that I decided to perform or bring up to everyone is Haitian fight song by Charles Mingus. It is a musical jazz song that does not have any lyrics in the song, it is just instrumental. I decided not to perform this song because I don’t know how I should bring this song to the audience. Jasper said I could hum to the tune of the music, or I could just explain to everyone the meaning of this piece, but I did not feel confidence with that choice, so I decided to find another song to perform The other song that I decided to perform but ended up changing.

 After contemplating for a long time, I decided to sing BLUE IS THE COLOUR by Chelsea f.c. Blue is the colour is the anthem song for Chelsea football club in England. I ended up choosing this song because this song is a short and easy song that means a lot to me and something I am very passionate about. This song means a lot to me because I have been a fan of Chelsea football club since I was 5 year old and I have watched every important game that they played. I remember when I was around 10 years old, Chelsea f.c won their first champions league which is the most prestigious tournament in the world of soccer. I remember I fell into tears because I was so happy, finally they won the most prestigious tournament. This is how much this song and team means to me, when they lose I cry of sadness and when they win I cry of happiness.

I have known and started singing blue is the colour since I was 5 years old and whenever I sing this song the same feeling and emotion always comes and fills my energy. The feeling that I felt when I sang this song is excitement and happiness. In football, when an anthem of the club is played it means the club is playing a game or they have won the tournament, that is why this song always gives me happiness. This song always gives me a lot of passion because the club that I am supporting is something that I am so passionate about and I think it is the same feeling for all the sport fans in this world, especially when you have been loyal to one club for a long time your heart just got attached to the club.

Singing this song in front of a camera is a different story, the emotions and feelings that I have whenever I sing or listen to this song are gone. The nervousness that I have overtaken the emotions and feelings that I have every time I sing this song. Even though I thought I was not nervous before the camera turned on, I was wrong as soon as that camera started recording my whole body started to feel weird. I started to swear a lot, my stomach was feeling weird, and my head was dizzy. It feels so strange to sing this song when I am watching Chelsea playing a football game and performing this song in front of a camera.

The class has helped me a lot in overcoming my fear of singing in front of people and in front of the camera. By having vocal practice every time there is a chance, it helps me develop my singing skill and it makes me realize that singing in front of others is not as scary as it seems. But still, the vocal practice was not enough to build my confidence to sing in front of a camera, maybe because I still did not have a chance of singing alone or at least a duo.

This class has opened my eyes and made me understand that singing is not just talking with a tone but singing can help other people around us. By bringing guest speakers to the class, they talked about how singing helped them and how singing can be a community for someone that feels like they are left out or feel like they do not have a home. Singing can be a community and a home for everyone.

The assignment that really helped me overcome my fear was the lesson plan. Jasper made us teach other people how to sing any song that we wanted. My partner, Sue and I decided to teach the song Rudolph the red nosed reindeer by Gene Autry. We both chose that song because we both felt like we could relate to the song. Sue could relate to the song because she feels like she was left out when she first moved to the States when she was just a kid, and I could relate to the song because Christmas is my favorite holiday, and it just feels special to me. During the breakout room where we are paired with other groups to give a sneak peak of our lesson plan, I was so nervous because this is the first time I have ever sung in front of someone, but I decided to just do it and sing. It wasn’t so bad as I sang the song with Sue and not solo, this break out room definitely helped me develop a little bit of my confidence to sing at the actual lesson plan. When I sang in the breakout room, I got a little bit of criticism and advice from my classmates. They said my singing was very monotone and I did not show any emotions. I felt the same way as I was so nervous, I couldn’t sing my best, but it helped me feel that I should do better. During the day of the lesson plan, I was so nervous I woke up super early that day and just started to sweat a lot and when it was time to sing in front of everyone, I forgot how it felt because I was so nervous that time just passed by so quickly. After the class, I felt like the lesson plan gave me the confidence I needed to sing in front of the camera for the project.

I guess my prayer got answered, as my confidences have definitely built up and I was capable of singing in front of a camera. Even though I was still nervous doing the whole project, I never thought I would have the courage to sing alone in front of a camera. I was proud of myself that I could overcome one of my biggest fears and the class activities might have been the biggest help in the whole process of doing this project.